Yen and Mike's Wedding on September 1st 2000

Picture Report

The Heavens smiled on Yen and Mike.  On a day when the weather forecast predicted showers, the sun broke through the clouds to look upon a most beautiful setting for the wedding.  The ceremony was held in a gazebo in the grounds of Eastwell Manor.   There was glorious sunshine for a couple glowing with happiness.

The ceremony was followed by a reception and Chinese Tea Ceremony.  Thereafter was a grand dinner topped by Champagne Toasts for the bride and groom.  As Stephen, father of the bride said, the 'wedding junket cost many many times more than the 28 pounds, 10 shillings and six pence that he spent when he married Bernice.  That Yen is worth many many more times than the expenses of the day!'

Left -Official Wedding invitation; right - Venue of Wedding - Eastwell Manor

Eastwell Manor lies in 62 acres of grounds, in the midst of a three thousand acre estate.  Queen Victoria and King Edward VII were frequent visitors, Price Alfred and his wife lived there and a Queen of Rumania was born.  Fitting location for a lovely young couple.

Stephen's speech at Wedding

 My dear Mother, Uncle Paul, Auntie Katherine, Barbara, Frederick, Margaret, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and all the animals from the Chang animal farm.

 It gives Bernice and me great pleasure to welcome all of you here today to celebrate Yen and Michael’s wedding.  I hope your pleasure is as great as ours, as this celebration is costing me a few bob compared to Bernice’s and my wedding celebrations 31 years ago! When Bernice and I got married in London in 1969 the total amount we spent was £28 10 shillings and 6 pence.  On the night before we got married René, my cousin, and I cooked the food for the wedding reception which was held in his 2-bedroomed bedsit in Putney.

 Well, I can assure you that today’s junket is costing many, many more times £28 10 shillings and 6 pence!  And this brings me to my point that my dear Yen Ch’ing deserves every penny of it and many more times over, as she is the most loving, caring daughter any parents could wish for.

 My dear daughter has many qualities and, of course, some defects as well.  Those of us who know Yen will agree that she is loving, generous, kind, with a strong sense of justice and fairness, as well as being very determined and focused in all she does. One of her defects, if it can be called a defect (which I must say probably comes from her father’s defective genes) is her defiant look, especially when cross!  But behind the defiant look is a very caring soul, which is one of Yen’s outstanding qualities.

 When Yen and Hua, my younger daughter, began dating, we often, in a light-hearted manner, talked about whether it would matter if they were to end up marrying someone from the “inferior races”, ie non-Chinese.  Those of you here today, including the groom, who belong to the “inferior races”, please don’t walk out.  The reference to you lot as “inferior” is said with tongue in cheek.  So please stay calm and don’t start a riot !

 Anyway, our views were that it would not matter if Yen and/or Hua were to marry a white, black, green, blue or brown bloke, as long as we all shared common values and interests, and one of the most important common interests is that the bloke must enjoy - no, indulge in - good food of all varieties.

 So, when we met Michael and discovered that not only does he enjoy good food, but given the opportunity indulges in it like a pig, he passed with flying colours and was immediately admitted as an associate inmate of the Chang animal farm.  Now that he has married my daughter he is from today a full member of the Chang animal farm.

 On a slightly more serious note, it is important for couples and their families to have common interests and common values.  Because it is the common interests that provide the framework for being together and keeping all the family together, and it is the common values that glue the family, including the extended family, into a loving and caring community.

 We are very pleased that our extended family will, from now on, include the Foxes.  Having known Michael for a number of years, and Barbara and her children, Bernice and I know that we share common values, which at their most basic level, are about being decent people, with a strong commitment to a caring, fair and just society, and not doing to others what we would not want others to do to us.

 If all this sounds a bit like a church sermon, I make no apologies, because in today’s world, families, community and people should be bonded together by common values rather than by just racial and tribal origins

 In our family, going back to our grandparents’ generation, women have always played a major role in the overall well-being of the family.  Both my paternal and maternal grandmothers contributed enormously to the well-being of the family.  My Mother has raised 8 of us - my 6 sisters and my brother - in rather challenging circumstances.

 That we are here today to celebrate the wedding of a very special young couple is in no small measure due to the enormous love and care given by their respective mothers.  While it is traditional on such occasions to be talking about the bride and perhaps the groom, I think tradition should give way to my paying tribute to Barbara and my dear wife, Bernice.

 I would like to thank all of you for being here today to celebrate Yen and Michael’s wedding.  I would particularly like to mention those of you who have come from abroad:

 My dear Mother, who is 90, coming all the way from Ipoh, Malaysia, via Toronto Canada, and Thurlston, Yorkshire;

My Uncle Paul and Auntie Katherine, both 82, coming all the way from KL, Malaysia;

Michael Fox’s Uncle Walter and Aunty Jennifer coming all the way from Hong Kong;

Benice’s sister and brother-in-law, Juana and Beng Guan, coming from Ipoh, Malaysia;

My nephew Francis from Adelaide, Australia;

My niece Olivia from Melbourne, Australia;

My cousins Matthias and Margaret, also from KL, Malaysia;

My dear sister Margaret, her son Eric and his girlfriend Charlotte, coming from Toronto, Canada;

Douglas and Monika Kok from KL, Malaysia;

Valerie Ho, a good friend of Bernice and myself going back to our schooldays, from Ipoh; Malaysia

Jean-Paul and Sylvie; Markus and Ursula; Regula and Ursula, all friends of Barbara, coming from Switzerland.

 Coming back to the happy couple, I would say to both of you that in treasuring the memories of today you should or rather you must treasure all the family and friends who are here with you today, and those who are not able to be here but whose thoughts are with both of you.

 Both Bernice and I are so please that Barbara have been treating Yen as a daughter even before she and Michael were engaged.  In a letter to us recently she wrote, to quote  “ My friends are positively envious because I have such a charming, clever and pretty daughter-in-law to be. An old friend of mine dropped in an hour ago, drank a cup of coffee with me and spent at least 20 minutes singing the praises of Yen.”

 Similarly Bernice and I are delighted to have Michael as a son-in-law who over the years, having shared many a glutinous feast with us has grown especially dear to us.

 Throughout the years until now, Michael has been uncertain, appears rather confused and embarrassed as to how to address Bernice and me. In accordance with Chinese custom, Michael, you should now address me as Papa which is the way in which Yen addresses me. Similarly you should address Bernice as Mum as Yen will address Barbara.

 Both Yen and Mike as young doctors are on the threshold of their careers, as a newly wed couple are on the threshold of a new lifer together, and we all are here today to wish both of you well and success in all you do.

 Therefore let us be upstanding and drink a toast to Yen and Michael. To Yen and Michael.