From: Rosa - 3
Date: 7/3/00
Time: 8:29:10 PM
Calling the Bluff with Fate
When ill luck calls (especially bringing
death), there is more than one way to match one's wit against it. One is
seemingly nonchalant acceptance, the so-be-it approach to cause Fate, bent on a
mission to kill, to lose interest. The another is illustrated by this account.
Mother had a stroke some ten years ago. She
spent over a month in hospital and was discharged when there were positive signs
of recovery. Back home, something much more worrying developed. She could hardly
swallow any food and suffered long, painful, distressing bouts of retching. It
was worrying because the doctors could not offer any concrete diagnosis and it
was making her very weak from the lack of food and from the strain of the
intermittent retching. She was not at 'death's door' like Grandmother was but
was deteriorating physically and in spirit.
It was near the time of Father's birthday.
Mother asked that it be celebrated by holding a Chinese banquet for some thirty
friends. Her reason was that it was an opportunity to show our appreciation for
their prayers, help and support in her illness. Father was most reluctant to
agree as he was certainly not in a celebratory frame of mind, the medical bills
were mounting, and how could Mother attend? Sai-Kau-Fu, on a visit to see
Mother, persuaded Father to give in to Mother's wishes. She had not said so, but
what could be at the back of her mind was to call Fate's bluff. A kind of a
challenge - 'You wish to visit ill fortune on me, see if I care, I'm out to
celebrate a joyous occasion, do your worst!' Some knowing friends agreed that
this was a good tactic to use. To please Mother, Father complied, quietly
protesting, 'I'm a Catholic, I don't believe in this, but if it pleases my wife
Constance, well...'
So Father's birthday was celebrated - three
tables at Lee How Fook, attended by friends, Father, Mary, Louisa, Justin,
Sai-Kau-Fu and perhaps Paul Suk and Sei Yee. Preparations were made for Mother
to go for a short while but she was much too weak and was especially ill on that
day. I stayed at home with her.
Her recovery was slow. Fate did not give in
as dramatically as on the occasion of Ah Mah's illness. Up to today, Mother may
still protest that 'choong hei' ('to fight back with a celebration' is a clumsy
translation) was not what she intended, but just to say 'thank you' to friends.
But all those who professed to know, especially Sai-Kau-Fu, thought otherwise.
'If she wants to celebrate Peter's birthday let us use it to choong hei as well'
was the considered advice.