From: Angeline - 1
Date: 7/10/00
Time: 2:52:13 PM
I didn’t mean to write but as I read Gen
ling’s beautiful description of ma in her sleep and her flawless and
wrinkleless face, a sudden sadness overcame me. In fact while I am typing this,
I can tell you that I’m on the verge of tears and anytime my tears will flow
freely.
This is because I recall the very sorrowful
and sad part of Papa and Mama’s life that revolves around Agnes’ and
Mary’s illness.
I can remember very clearly, Mama telling me
that before she used not to know what worries mean – Papa looked after her and
us well - but now she can’t sleep because she has so many worries and we
don’t have to guess what they are.
When Papa and Mama should be resting on their
laurels and enjoying their old age, it wasn’t to be as there was the constant,
in fact daily or even every minute of tension in their daily lives because of
sudden unprovoked outbursts of swearing, cursing and scolding from Agnes.
She nor Mary are not to be blamed at all, as
they are the victims of a terrible sickness that none of us can explain but the
manifestation of the sickness did give a lot of pain and heartache and sleepless
nights to our parents.
Papa told me that he felt as though he was
sitting on a time bomb as anytime the peace in the house could just shatter and
he told me he just shivered and shook when crisis after crisis happened.
I know the feeling as I was the closest
witness and a participant of these incidents. It is difficult for me to relate
what actually occurred. However, it is Papa’s dogged faith ( it may not be
understood or appreciated by all), that kept him sane ( he told me once that
with all this stress and his work he’s afraid he might end up in TR) and of
course his immense love for his own children. It is Ma’s tenacity, a most
loving and forgiving heart, deep faith in prayers and quiet forbearance that
helped her to endure all.
Yes, Papa and Mama had a very ‘good’ life
in all counts but we have to know and remember that they had their full share of
a very heavy cross to bear.
8th July ‘00